Ep. 02: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Reese Charest  0:03  
I was doing perfectly fine. On my own. I don't need anybody. But it's nice to have somebody that wants you. You know?

Dave Charest  0:18  
This is Dave...

Reese Charest  0:19  
This is Reese...

Dave Charest  0:20  
And this is Manic Joy, a podcast about...

Reese Charest  0:23  
Life... 

Dave Charest  0:23  
Love... 

Dave and Reese  0:25  
...and uncertainty.

Dave Charest  0:32  
Hello, hello friends, it's Episode Two of Manic Joy. Today's episode is the "love" episode and how apropos considering Valentine's Day was this past weekend?

Reese Charest  0:44  
Excuse me. It's Valentime's Day.

Dave Charest  0:47  
Oh, that's right. I often forget that because I'm just too caught up in the whole air of love.

Reese Charest  0:54  
Eww.

Dave Charest  0:55  
We managed to get a night alone on actual Valentine's Day. Which was nice. We didn't really do much. I think we were in bed early. Cradling each other as we snored the night away. It was a beautiful romantic evening.

Reese Charest  1:11  
I am I was totally okay with that.

Dave Charest  1:13  
It was absolutely amazing. I loved it too. Saturday, we spent today looking at some cars and managed to snag a beauty. It was something we were both working towards and saving our money. And I have to say for all of you listening out there very exciting to say, "Here's some money cash to buy this new car," and kind of shut down the whole financing discussion and all of that.

Reese Charest  1:34  
That was really great watching Dave shut down the car salesman on the, "Well, let's see how you do what your credit score?" And Dave's all, "Well, that's okay, because we're paying cash." Bazinga.

Dave Charest  1:49  
So, very cool. That's one of those things maybe we'll talk about in another episode that we've been, you know, working towards to be able to do things like that, which has been fantastic. Let's see Saturday night after we got our car. We were out with some friends to go for dinner out in our favorite little town Concord, Massachusetts. Had a fantastic dinner. I had been there once before...

Reese Charest  2:11  
It was delicious.

Dave Charest  2:12  
...for drinks, but I saw the food coming out and I was like, "Oh, we should go. We should go try this place." And yeah, it did not disappoint.

Reese Charest  2:18  
No, everything was outrageous. It was so good.

Dave Charest  2:22  
Really good. What I loved about it, it was one of those places that had the right size portions for you to eat. You know you ate and I left there feeling fantastic.

Reese Charest  2:31  
I actually brought food home.

Dave Charest  2:32  
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Really good, really fun time. And let's see, what else did we do? We did this past weekend, we spent some time getting together the gifts for our email subscribers, that was really fun. We have those ready to go. So if you're listening, you should have those hopefully, by the end of this week, early next week, depending on when we can get to the post office to drop those off. Thank you to our email subscribers. Once again, if you'd like to get a gift, become an email subscriber. And you'll have the opportunity to do that. So we we love our email subscribers. So thank you. So this episode, love. We were talking through this a little bit. That's what we did. Actually, Friday night, we had some time we're laying around in bed, and we had some time to kind of talk through this a little bit. And this episode is extremely exciting to me. Love is one of those topics, it's the things that songs are written about is the thing of poetry. It's all of that. And being a creative person. Lots of things aside from turmoil and those things in your life or those challenging moments in your life really, really did a lot to inspire those things and I think is really interesting. And we watched which we'll be sharing to you, you can find in our Manic Joy Podcast YouTube channel. We're going to be uploading some videos that we have from our Behind the Elopement Special there. And also yeah, it's gonna be fun things there. And then we have a very special interview slash whatever you want to call it, directed by our good friend George Nicolaidis. who directed you in a Dave and Maurisa: The Beginning type of monologue here. Very, what do we...Reality Bites.

Reese Charest  4:13  
Very 90s angsty. Wearing a hat with pigtails and my Brooklyn accent.

Dave Charest  4:20  
You can watch that in full. It actually opened this episode. And through that whole process, what was really amazing is as we were watching these on Friday night, it was to me just great to see all of these people, these amazing people that we have in our lives that you know, we talk about, there's the romantic love, and then there's family love, and then there's that friendship, love. And it really kind of took us back and being in Massachusetts now and not being around because we got engaged or yeah, we got engaged when we were in New York. And that's where our story kind of starts. Like not to be around those people all the time. Now. It just makes you go back to like, oh, "Remember those fun times we used to have not only just you and I, but just with our friends in general?" Just really cool. I mean, how did how did that make you feel kind of looking back at that stuff?

Reese Charest  5:10  
Well, I think we're very lucky to have the friends that we had when we were in New York, we were very close group. And now everybody's got married, has a family, moved here and there. But at the time, we pretty much all lived together, too. We were all in the same apartment complex-ish. And we were with each other all the time. And they were there for a very important part of our lives. And actually, it was because of them that you and I got together too. Yeah. Which, you know, but that's a great thing about love part of love his friends, and I love all my friends, even the ones that I won't get to see all the time. But they're the they're the reason why things come together. You know? I mean, I feel sad that we don't get to see them all the time. But I just love what, those memories that we had with them. That was a fun time.

Dave Charest  6:02  
Well, I'm sure we'll get into it today. But as we were kind of talking about in Episode One, this idea where I was talking about this idea of like things happen for a reason, and what's supposed to happen happens. And I think it's the same with the people that you have in your life, whether that's good or bad, it teaches you something and hopefully challenges you as a person and makes you a better person. And the people that come in are they come in because they serve a specific purpose at a time when you need that thing to happen?

Reese Charest  6:28  
Exactly.

Dave Charest  6:30  
Let's kind of set this up before we get into our scripted questions. But one of the questions for you like what do you think shaped your relationships through the years and you know, eventually leading to ours? But was there anything that in your life? Or was there anything that you had to emulate? Like, what what was that for you? 

Reese Charest  6:47  
I would say sustainability. 

Dave Charest  6:50  
What does that mean? 

Reese Charest  6:50  
It means. So the first relationship I had when I was 13, didn't really last very long. And it made me sad when it was over. And then every relationship after that there was always an expiration date, like I knew there would be an expiration date. And I would always make me kind of sad. And then as I got older, I kind of remembered what some of those things were, that led to the mistakes in other relationships and then eventually, when I realized that, at some point, I wanted to get married, who I would marry, it had to have sustainability. There had to be more to it than past relationships had. Because I'll get into it. We have a question. And I wrote something very specific down for one of those things that one of my main problems as I my dating life, which cause to a lot of those expiration dates, so well, I'll get into that. I can't really I don't know how to answer that question right now.

Dave Charest  7:51  
Well, so I guess for me, when I'm looking back, I mean, I guess it all rolls up to this, you know, you think about the relationships that you're having as you're growing up and being a child. And of course, my mother is also going to be at play a big role in any of this and my relationship to her. And again, as I unpack it more, and we start thinking about it, this is going to turn into a therapy session. And I think it's quite, it's actually been quite interesting and a relief to kind of talk about some of this stuff, which is interesting. 

Reese Charest  8:18  
It's cathartic. It's important to talk about these things and not suppress them.

Dave Charest  8:21  
And so that, that plays a big role. And another group of people that I didn't talk about, when we were talking about just the things that help kind of shaped the people that we were in our lives that another important role that I think also influenced the relationships that I have with women. My grandmothers. And I was blessed enough to have just two really amazing grandmothers both on my father's side and my mother's side, Evelyn and Alice. Alice, you never got to meet. I really wish you could have and I think as I do things, and we achieve things, and the girls and all these life moments, I always kind of think in the back of my head, I really wish my grandmother was around to see this. Trying not to get upset right now. Or emotional, what not upset because it's not a it's not a bad thing at all. And Evelyn, who you were fortunate enough to meet. 

Reese Charest  9:11  
Memere.  

Dave Charest  9:12  
I mean, Memere. What an amazing, amazing woman who just made me I think helped me learn to just respect people in general but you know, particularly like those relationships that you know, I can be part of with someone and I think that helped shape how I approach a relationship...

Reese Charest  9:32  
She had the "never give up" attitude. She had, what was the disease she had?

Dave Charest  9:37  
She had scleroderma was one thing where the, yeah...

Reese Charest  9:41  
She had lost...

Dave Charest  9:42  
...all of this stuff...

Reese Charest  9:42  
...both of her legs... 

...diabetes.

Even in a wheelchair, even in a wheelchair. One time, we were all out and she let me sit on her lap in the wheelchair, while the girls who were very little wheeled us around and she would laugh and laugh. There was never like a moment where you could see her giving up on anything. I definitely appreciated that. You were lucky to have that in your life.

Dave Charest  10:08  
And so especially growing up again, my parents were divorced are they growing up and just having her I was the first grandchild. And so there was a lot of attention to me from both of their parts. You know, I grew up playing Scrabble with my grandmother on my mother's side, Alice, that was just one of those things I really just enjoyed. I remember just laying on the couch with her and watching TV and watching like Carol Burnett, and Dick Van Dyke, all of those things was really amazing. And then, yeah, as you mentioned, Memere, Evelyn, just an amazing woman always had this positive attitude. She was the one, my grandparents, they were the ones who did Christmas Eve every year. And no matter where I was, I was always made sure that I was back for Christmas Eve, because I didn't want to miss being around.

Reese Charest  10:46  
I remember that was one of the first times I actually got mad at you. Because you were like, Well, I have to go back home. When we were first dating, and I was like, "Ugh, whatever." And then when I finally got to go visit with you, I was like, "Oh, I understand why you go home. This is amazing."

Dave Charest  11:03  
I think it means a lot to that, you know, we've taken over that holiday. And that's the one where we bring everybody together. And just just amazing thing. So I think that had a big impact on or helped shape how I kind of go through relationships. And I guess to that, I'll throw back to you, Reese, like, going into a relationship. I mean, did you...? Was there any philosophy that you kind of went into relationships with or started to have? I mean, obviously, maybe not those early relationships, but as you start to figure it out a little bit, if we ever figure it out? Is there anything that you... 

Reese Charest  11:33  
Well, you don't figure it out, because you don't, everything changes and evolves in the way. So the way my grandparents stayed together, through things were very different than what my parents stayed together through things. And I watched them. A lot of the way when I mentioned sustainability, I see like, you know, my parents would not get divorced. They were, they were like the power couple. They they knew how to balance each other out. And that was one thing I guess I was looking for, too, is I had to find someone to balance me out. And I think that it took me a long time to understand that's what I needed more than anything else. But I don't know, I'm really like, I feel like I'm gonna go ahead on other questions if I answer some of these things now. So that's why and I feel like you're on a roll. Yeah, the things that you're saying it sounds way more intelligent.

Dave Charest  12:27  
As I mentioned, this episode got me really excited. And yeah, one of the things I think that I would always take into a relationship or going into that is like, I obviously coming from a situation where I was seeing fighting all the time and all that, like I knew that was something that I didn't want, I never really understood. You know, you there would always be that couple that they're fighting all the time. But it was always this drama, it was always this thing. And I was like, "Well, why the hell are you guys together? Like, enough." But again, as I think we're all searching for something in our relationships, and that's filling a hole for somebody, so who am I to judge? But I was always looking at relationships as something that they were trials, right. Like, is this somebody you're going to be compatible with? Like, I never went into them thinking or ending really, with a, "I hate this person. This person sucks now, I'm not gonna deal with them anymore." You know what I mean? It was always like a "Hey, let's...I like you. Let's see if we can be together." And whatever that is, that is and then if it we decide it's not it? Or if it gets decided it's not it. Like that's what's supposed to be?

Reese Charest  13:29  
No, I hated all of my ex-boyfriends. Every single one of you. 

Dave Charest  13:33  
Damn you all!

Reese Charest  13:35  
No, I'm just kidding. Kind of.

Dave Charest  13:35  
Kind of one last question I'll have for you. Before we get into the specific questions that we talked about to set this up. Were there any ways that your past relationships or even your current relationship that inspired you do anything I get asked that as like a creative person? I mean, was there anything you got from that that allowed you to create? 

Reese Charest  13:57  
Oh,absolutely, I'm at one of the things that I know for sure that I was meant to do was to be involved in theater because I'm a creative person. And the way that I would exercise the demons of things that went on and relationships was to use that as character work. I do a lot of character work and building up bios for characters and I usually use my past experiences to help emote things that I need. And so a lot of past friendships, love relationships. I definitely would use that as a source for inspiration when either I'm performing a show directing a show or choosing a show. And then as a director, now I just really try to go for the comedy because I need to laugh. But like prior to that used to be a lot of like experimental, deep, heavy, morose. I had a couple of my friends used to call me "Morosa." Thanks to Ralfy and Precious used to call me Morosa, because I used to get myself very upset with things around me. And I find that my life goes in these evolutions in these you know how every eight years things change. I just kind of ride that, that wave of whatever's going on in the moment, I go back, and I use some stuff. And then when I'm done with it, I let it go. You know what I mean? Like, I don't harp on this relationship or that relationship, and I just, I use whatever I need. I cathartic experience, I feel it, I let it go. And I move on. And I think that's been really helpful in not getting too wound up in the minutiae of things in the past. Cuz you have to be here and now. Because life is too short for that type of nonsense I guess.

Dave Charest  15:53  
For me, absolutely using those things in performance situations, pulling from that to create a particular feeling for somebody or to get a point across on stage for sure. The other area for me, as you know, as I got more into music, you know, I was writing and I consider music and lyrics. That's poetry to me. I'm a big lyrics person. And I think that's important. So you know, inspiring, and I think you'll, you'll hear through here, I have like some choice kind of selections of things that I'm like, "Oh, yeah, that was really encapsulated what that relationship was or what I got from that relationship." And the other was, yeah, just the songs in it themselves, and pulling that together. So really interesting. So with that, let's get to our first question. And our first question was, what were your best relationships? Or what was your best relationship? So let's start with you, Reese.

Reese Charest  16:46  
So relationship again, cuz I have to keep asking you this. Do you mean, romantic or friendship or...? Cuz those are all relationships.

Dave Charest  16:55  
 I think "love" whatever that means to you?

Reese Charest  16:57  
I mean, I'd have to say it's this one. You know what I mean? Like, this is the one I've worked the hardest at keeping. This is the one that all those past relationships helped me realize what I want now. And this is the one that taught me to be definitely be a better communicator, because I think my biggest issue, which is again, genetic, to to get mad, because I thought that someone didn't understand what I wanted. When I realized that people aren't mind readers. They don't know. And men and women have very different brains. And so I would expect people to know right away what I wanted, and then when they wouldn't give that to me, I would get pissed off and harbor, ill will. And then I'd be like, "Well, you know, how could you not know why I'm mad?" Well, duh, you know. So I would say like this one, this one is probably my best relationship so far, because we're still going. And, and, and you knew what I was about from the beginning, and vice versa. And we just those little things that kind of peep out intermittently throughout the years that we've been together. We've worked on. 

Dave Charest  18:17  
So I don't want to go too deep into our relationship, because we've got a whole section to talk about our story. Would you say that there is a relationship prior to ours that was what you considered a good relationship that you you took something from?

Reese Charest  18:29  
I don't say there was like one particular one, I think each one that I was in, really taught me what I don't want, which is why I'm not in them anymore. Yeah, I mean, there were lots of qualities that I remember. Well, this made me happy. This made me happy. But for the most part, there were a lot of things that were involved that I was like, I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing, because I'm not happy. So I can't say that there's one before this one that I can say that was each one had their own little thing. That's the best I can do with that one, sorry. 

Dave Charest  19:05  
Cool. For me, I guess my first high school girlfriend that was a I think a special thing. And I hope for the girls, whatever that happens is a special thing. But like that was like the first real like, "Whoa, these are all of these feelings." And I remember when we actually started dating and it was like official like this is my girlfriend and we're boyfriend and girlfriend and walking through high school and I don't know if anybody else has ever gotten through this, but you know, when you like, "Oh, yeah, I'm so focused on this person." And like you're walking around and you you don't spend every waking moment together yet like the relationship is still new. And I remember like walking around the halls of the school and you can see somebody like" Wait, is that her? That that could be her," like, I don't know if this ever happened to you, but...

Reese Charest  19:53  
No because I went to an all girl High School.

Dave Charest  19:55  
So you did not know. Right. Okay. That would be weird. So yeah, like there'd be times of like, "Oh, that 'Nope, no, that's not her," like, and so you're just looking for that person everywhere. And I remember, this was the first relationship that was like, "Oh my god, yes. Like I am in love." And I remember writing a letter confessing my love to her and giving that to her. And that was writing letters, right? Like, imagine doing that. And I remember, I mean, this had to have been at least a three page and you know who you are. If you're out there listening, maybe you still have this letter. It'd be amazing to see that because I'm, I'm big on like, I don't keep things. 

Reese Charest  20:35  
No, Dave throws everything out.

Dave Charest  20:37  
I really do. And I, I don't know, I just don't like to have stuff. Like sometimes I'm like, I wish I could go back. But for me, I'm like, this has served its purpose. Now, I always I always want to move forward. And so I guess that's part of that from with my personality, but... 

Reese Charest  20:50  
I still have the email, your "love" email.

Dave Charest  20:53  
You do? Oh, we should look at that.

Reese Charest  20:55  
I printed it. And I saved it.

Dave Charest  20:56  
I can find that thanks to Google, at least that technology buys, I can keep things a little easier now than rather than being things in a box, you know. But I remember that writing that letter and getting the letter back and just being "Whoa." And that's, of course, that was the that was also the first time for us. So that that was all rolled up into that. And so that was just...

Reese Charest  21:19  
Yeah, I guess I wasn't thinking of it in that way. But I would say like, yeah, my first real relationship, the first time that I actually felt that I had loved someone the best part of that whole thing was that he was my best friend first. We're best friends for like ever. Went to the...took me to my prom. Was a complete gentleman. Just we sat on the where the lifeguards sit. And we were just sitting there and we made jokes the entire night, while all of our friends were doing things on the beach. And we were just like, hehehe like laughing about it, and just best friends. And then at a party one time, I drank too much. And then I started puking. And he came out of nowhere to come take care of me and then and then decided that was the night that we were going to make out. After I just vomited. And that was true love right there. The vomit kiss. That's how you know someone really loves you. And I remember one night he walked me home. And it was cold. And he only lived a few blocks from me. And he gave me his jacket. And I go in the house and my mother's like, "Whose friggin jacket is that?" And I was like, "Oh, so and so's jacket." And she's like, "Oh, God," she had no respect for him, because I just, he did everything for me. He was like the best. And I didn't even tell my parents like we were dating until way after we were dating because I didn't want them to ruin it. But that was and that was that was the first time where I actually he would walk into a room we'd be at a party and I can feel my heart flutter. 

Dave Charest  22:46  
Yeah. Yes!

Reese Charest  22:47  
That was it. That was the one and there were letters, I threw everything out.

Dave Charest  22:51  
See, I'm not the only one. 

Reese Charest  22:52  
No, it's your fault that I threw everything out.

Dave Charest  22:55  
 Oh, I see I get what you're saying. 

Reese Charest  22:56  
"I don't like clutter." 

Dave Charest  22:57  
"I didn't want to keep it back." And then I would say the other one for me. Like the best ones were one of the ones that I can think back to were the ones that kind of challenge you as a person. Like this was a relationship where we were we were good friends to start with. And then we started dating versus the other way around...

That's always the best. 

...and it was really cool. Because like we were just like, we just enjoyed being around each other. And we were I want to say intellectual with each other to like, we and we definitely did not see things the same way. But we respected each other and we're very like open about like how we communicated with each other, which was I thought also very interesting. And I think that was one of the ones where I was writing a lot at that time. And so I have I have some lyrics I wanted to share because I think it encapsulates kind of for me anyway in that moment, what was going on in that relationship. This was a song called Cloudsurfer just lyric wise and maybe we can I can get these up on the YouTube channel or something like that. Well let's see if you get everybody wants to listen to them. But... "I don't know where I'm going to you/ You don't know where I've been/ I thought I saw you coming in/ You thought we could begin/ Well, I don't know what's happening/ You thought I would be wise/ I guess I just fell down again/ After I looked into those eyes/ Hey, love, are you looking down from a cloud above surfing like the sea/ Wonder if I'll ever find a wave to carry me/ You thought you put your finger on the workings of my mind/ Instead I led you to the tapestry the others could not find/ Well, what's to say and what's to do/ I'm not so sure when I'm not with you/ But I think I thought I thought of you/ And now you're always on my mind. There's like to me that's like, "Whoa!" A relationship with something inspired that.

Reese Charest  24:35  
How old were you when you wrote that?

Dave Charest  24:37  
Late 20s maybe. So there's one example there of that. Alright, so good things. What were your worst relationships? 

Reese Charest  24:45  
Right. This one got me because I really started thinking about I've had a lot of really bad bad relationships and it mostly it's because I would at first give everybody a try. If someone asked me out, I'd be like, "Alright, let's see where this goes." You know what I mean? And then it would be terrible. And then I would in for different reasons, they would be terrible. But sometimes I would, I would try not to give up on it. Sometimes I'd give up on it right away. But most of the times the ones that were really bad were the ones where I was a chaser, air quotes, the chaser and I had a few of those where it started out, okay, but then they didn't kind of like me, but then I would just chase it. And I knew, like, deep down, it wasn't going to go anywhere, nothing was going to happen. But then I would just, I don't know what I was thinking. I was like, they'll change their mind and decide that they love me. And I had a few of those where I just chased people down, and I would sacrifice my dignity so many times, like, on a Saturday night, I would just drive past their house several times. And if their light was on, I'd be all mad because I'm like, they said, they were busy, but they were home. And so for a good portion of my life, I was a complete loser, because I would just chase, I was always chasing things that you know, and those were the worst ones. Because now I look back at that, and I would never, I mean, I say this, but I would never if let's say you and I parted ways. I don't know if that would ever happen. But you know, whatever. I couldn't imagine being a chaser at, at this age.

Dave Charest  26:27  
Doing anything at this age.

Reese Charest  26:28  
I know. I know. Actually getting up...getting up from the bench that we have in the kitchen was also difficult. I was sitting on the bench and I...it hurt. But it was yeah, and a chaser is someone who thinks that they're going to be able to change someone's feelings towards them. A chaser is someone who is two steps from stalking and being nice about it. Luckily, there was no internet back in the day, my my best friend Ruthann and I say all the time, "Thank God, there was no internet when we were in high school or even college because forget it." We...oh my god, horrible. So yeah, be being a chaser in a lot of those relationships was the worst thing ever. And none of them ever panned out, obviously, because I always wound up getting really hurt in the end every single time. So and actually a couple of those people that I was the chaser I actually am not friends with them anymore. 

Dave Charest  27:25  
No? Interesting. Make sense, though?

Reese Charest  27:28  
Well, because they weren't built on built on anything solid. 

Dave Charest  27:30  
No, cuz you were trying to force something that wasn't there...

Reese Charest  27:32  
Exactly. 

Dave Charest  27:32  
...to begin with.

Reese Charest  27:33  
Exactly. It's like the guy on the airplane, where they show him trying to shove the luggage in the wrong way, into the... 

Dave Charest  27:41  
Yes! 

Reese Charest  27:41  
That's what I was. 

Dave Charest  27:42  
That meme.

Reese Charest  27:43  
If there's an image for a chaser, that's, that's what I was. 

Dave Charest  27:46  
Well, we'll have to use that to promote this episode.  If I'm being fair, I don't think I had a lot of like bad relationships. But the ones that I recognized were like, "No, these aren't healthy relationships." Were the ones where I was looking for my mother's love in that relationship. I think it was all just, it's that, right? It's like, how can I fix that relationship through this relationship. So almost similar, like trying to make something out of what it wasn't. And those are always you know, it's like beautiful, fun people. But there's always something a little off about them and, and off about what I was looking to get out of them that it's just something that they couldn't give me. And one of the first set of lyrics that I ever one, that kind of set, I guess that whole like thing off of what I was looking for was the song I wrote about that relationship with my mother. And, again, you can let me go into this again, indulge me a bit here. But it was a song I titled, "I Wish I Knew You Better." And that was, you know, "I find myself reaching out/ But there's nothing for me to hold/ And I'm asking for your help/ Then realize I'm on my own/ Now I'm passing time away/ Hoping that I'd find my way/ As I decide the steps I'm taking/ But without your love to guide me/ I've learned to live in pain/ Now you're trying to hold me close/ To make up all those years you've wasted/ Although you're beautiful the most/ I only wish I knew you better"

Reese Charest  29:08  
Oh, that's sad.

Dave Charest  29:09  
Yeah, but that was where I was, you know, with that stuff. And yeah, hopefully it gets me a little like, whoa. But like, again, cathartic to be able to put that encapsulated into something and put it out there and then I recognize it. 

Reese Charest  29:26  
Right? Own it. 

Dave Charest  29:28  
Yeah, owning it, recognizing it and being aware of it. I think so many people are afraid to even go to those places to be introspective about what's happening with them that it impacts all the relationships they have moving forward. 

Reese Charest  29:42  
It's really important, it's really important to do that because I think everybody today is is so afraid of not seeming without a blemish that if they have these flaws that someone's going to look at them different or not love them or, or it just makes them look bad because we live in an Instagram filter world. 

Dave Charest  30:00  
Right. Which is not reality. 

Reese Charest  30:00  
And honestly, no. And what I've learned again, in my old age is to own those things that that make you imperfect, because that's what you have to do. So just recognizing it, owning it, and then and then deal with it, figure out what to do with it. And I think like, we're both really lucky because we're creative people. But I think for people that don't have an outlet of like writing or theater, go see go talk to someone, go to a therapist and talk it out. I think that is also the best way to manage it, as well. Because like I said, I, I watched my mom, not the last couple of years of her life, she definitely held a lot of things in and didn't talk about things. And she was always kind of like that. But it was like worse as she got older. And I think a lot of what made her sick, and ill was just holding in... 

Dave Charest  30:02  
Yeah, holding all of that.

Reese Charest  30:23  
...those. Yeah, yeah, it was a very big burden, where she would get mad at me because I went back to work and did stuff after my dad passed away. But I didn't do that. Because I didn't care. I did it because I had to. I had to keep my brain occupied. Without sitting around dwelling on stuff. This is for Jimmy, "Don't dwell on it." Because it's, it's been my philosophy, the past, like, year and a half. Don't dwell on it. Because I find like, when you start doing that, you can't move forward. So a lot of times relationships, people just are bitter about something that happened in it, and then they don't really think. How do I move past this? 

Dave Charest  31:34  
All right. So here's the big one, our story. So before we get into the specifics of us, I want to talk a little bit about kind of our mental states prior to meeting, because I think we were both in similar places, just mentally. And where we were with just I...

Reese Charest  31:54  
Yeah, we both had it. We were at our wits end. 

Dave Charest  31:57  
Yeah. And I'll share, I'll share, here's another one, where I'll share with you. I was in the state of just not thinking I was ever going to find the person or meet somebody was in that time of my life. And I remember riding around the subways. And you know, when you I don't know if you've ever done this, but you see somebody, and you're like, "Oh," you start to run this little scenario in your brain. Like what if that's the person, "Imagine if..." and then I was also big in this idea of what of what about all of those, like lost relationships, because people are too afraid to talk to each other. And that's where I kind of came up with this idea. And these lyrics for this thing, which was a song "If You Knew" and it was kind of that idea of like, staring across somebody like sitting on a subway and that idea, but it was like, you know..."I want to take you away from here/ I want to lead you away/ I want to travel the world with you/ Forever and a day/ I want to feel you next to me/ I want to hold your hand/ I want to look in your eyes and know/ You understand/ Because if you knew then you would love me/ Like I love you/ And if I knew that I could love you/ Like I've wanted to/ We could ride on a cloud my love/ And whisper to the sun/ And we could drift in the sea and be now/ Far from anyone/ Let's connect with the stars with our love and/ Land on the moon/ Then we could dive from the sky, my love/ And try not to land too soon/ Because if you knew then you would love me/ Like I love you/ And if I knew I could love you/ Like like I've wanted to" That was that...There's like this unknown thing because people are afraid to talk to each other. And if they only said what they felt, right, it could be this amazing love story.

Reese Charest  33:33  
Or right. And you didn't read the last part where it says, "Fart real loud." 

Dave Charest  33:36  
Fart real loud. Is that...

Reese Charest  33:39  
It doesn't say that. 

Dave Charest  33:39  
That's how I end that. Yeah, yeah. 

Reese Charest  33:43  
Big fart. Sorry, I just ruined your whole thing. 

Dave Charest  33:46  
No, that was...thank you. Just a very emotional, you know, special moment for me. That's, you know, whatever. That's fine. 

Reese Charest  33:50  
Yeah. That joke stunk. 

Dave Charest  33:54  
Yeah. So what about you? Like Where were you mentally before we were?

Reese Charest  33:59  
Oh, I was still the chaser. I was still on chase mode. In fact, there were two people at the time that I was chasing around. Chasing him around. Like Mr. Magoo. Just around and around, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing. And you know, what sucks? Is that there's this whole perception that you have to find the one there's the one there's the one. I think for girls, it's even or women, it's even worse, because everything gets Disney-fied. Like you're going to meet your prince charming. And this is, and I think that's why I gave everybody a shot. Because I was like, "This one could be the one and this one could be the one," ...and and then they were never it and I could never really identify if it was them or me. Most of the time it was me. But then, yeah, I was just chasing people around and I remember there was like a diary entry that I had, I had written and I just remember going back and reading and it was just before I met you, and and it was I was so angry. I was just so mad because I was like, "Why doesn't anybody love me? What is wrong with me?" It's like When Harry Met Sally. "What's the matter with me? I chase them away." And that's how I felt. I felt like Sally, that what is wrong with me? I know I have these little quirky things, but I just didn't understand why. Why I couldn't find someone who genuinely wanted to be with me. Why did I always have to feel like I was chasing someone? And that was that that diary entry was Morosa at her most morose. Because... 

Dave Charest  35:33  
But I think that's the place we were like, I know, I was just, "Eh, it's never gonna happen." 

Reese Charest  35:38  
And you were unexpected. I didn't expect you to show up.

Dave Charest  35:42  
Well, and I got to the point where like, I was like, "Alright, fine." Like, that's not going to be a thing. And so let's let's talk about that. Right. We were expected I think for both of our...of both of us. So. Meeting, how did how did that all come about?

Reese Charest  35:56  
Well, the funny part is, I was dating one of your friends. "Well, but Dave..." it was so casual it wasn't really even like dating. We're just kind of hanging out. And then he was having a party at his house. And he's like, "Oh, Reese, you got to meet my friend Dave. You're gonna love him. He really is a big U2 fan. And you guys are gonna get along." And I'm like, "Yeah, whatever." And, and then that's what happened.

Dave Charest  36:21  
Well, it's funny because I remember so mutual friend. I was hanging out with him and and he would you know, "How things going with...?" "Oh, yeah, dating and blah, blah, blah." And I had the other side of that, right, which was interesting. And so like, I knew like, there wasn't any real...It there wasn't like anything real there I don't think. 

Reese Charest  36:38  
There wasn't a love match. 

Dave Charest  36:39  
Yeah, yeah. So that's interesting. So we that was the first time we met, we were hanging out our, our, our mutual friend, George kind of got us together, right. Like, if I'm being honest, I think the first time we met there wasn't an instant, like, "Oh, yeah." Like it was just kind of like, "Yeah, cool."

Reese Charest  36:56  
There was no love at first sight...No. 

Dave Charest  36:58  
I mean, we liked each other

Reese Charest  36:59  
I thought you were cute. But...

Dave Charest  37:01  
Yeah, it wasn't any...It wasn't a thing.

Reese Charest  37:03  
I don't need a third person to chase around. So, I'll just stick with the two that don't like me, and I'll just focus on that.

Dave Charest  37:10  
But then, I don't remember what came first. And I think it was so there was Serendipity. It, well, there was the movie Eight Mile. So, I think that's where we definitely did...So, that was the same day, wasn't it? Because we went to the movie. And then we went to Serendipity after? 

Reese Charest  37:24  
Yeah. 

Dave Charest  37:25  
So that was the day for me that I was like, "Oh, crap."

Reese Charest  37:28  
That's because I screamed out the window,  "Dave!" When we drove past you in the car. 

Dave Charest  37:33  
Yep.

Reese Charest  37:33  
And then you spilled pizza, grease...

Dave Charest  37:35  
...I got pizza grease on my jacket thing. 

Reese Charest  37:37  
And then he tried to like, like, mop it up with the pizza itself and make a joke about it. And I remember thinking, "This guy is a weirdo. And I actually like it. A lot" That was really funny. And then we went to Serendipity at night with George, who became an instant third wheel and had no idea that that was going to happen.

Dave Charest  37:57  
It was really fun. Yeah, neither of us expected it. But it was literally like...

Reese Charest  38:01  
We spent the whole night talking to each other. And George was just sitting there watching it. And that was the best part of that whole thing. And George will tell you the same thing. 

Dave Charest  38:08  
Oh, yeah. Yeah. 

Reese Charest  38:09  
He just sat there and watched it happen.

Dave Charest  38:12  
So it was it was great. And I think, yeah, we just gabbed and gabbed. Again, so, yay, George! For knowing you. And just allowing us to have that moment too. I think, you know, he was a big part in that budding relationship. And then the other thing I remember is like U2 Day. 

Reese Charest  38:36  
U2 Day. So that was when...well, U2 Day happened after we went to...

Dave Charest  38:42  
Was it after Halloween at Belvedere? 

Reese Charest  38:43  
...Halloween at Belvedere. 

Dave Charest  38:43  
Okay, so we should, we need to talk about Halloween in Belvedere. Because that's going to play a big role. And it's also a huge part in our story that you will put on the on the YouTube channel. But so Halloween at Belvedere was a children's Halloween musical adventure. 

Reese Charest  39:00  
Wow, yes. It was. 

Dave Charest  39:01  
Yeah, there we go, that our friends wrote, which actually was an amazing show that we performed over about four years in a row maybe? 

Reese Charest  39:07  
Yeah.

Dave Charest  39:08  
For the first year though... 

Reese Charest  39:09  
...for the first year, we just went to see it...

Dave Charest  39:11  
...we weren't involved in it... 

Reese Charest  39:11  
...we just went to go see it as spectators...

Dave Charest  39:12  
...And the whole concept was the world holiday commission is canceling Halloween. And so now there's all of these out of work monsters, so they have to find these jobs. 

Reese Charest  39:22  
Right. And it's at Belvedere Castle in Central Park. So we hike this hike to get to Belvedere Castle, if you've ever had a chance to go there. It is really a hike to get there. It was me and you and George...

Dave Charest  39:36  
Yep. And Justin. 

Reese Charest  39:37  
...and Justin... 

Dave Charest  39:38  
Yep. And that was that was it... 

Reese Charest  39:39  
...and that was it...

Dave Charest  39:39  
...and we were meeting people and then Justin and George and this is when me you were kind of dating Justin at that point.

Reese Charest  39:44  
Yeah. Well, no, you were just hanging out. I never, I don't know. I was chasing him.

Dave Charest  39:50  
You were chasing him.

Reese Charest  39:50  
I was chasing him. And then and then we go see this play to support our friends and the whole time the play was really cute. And then the Belvedere Castle, you can actually go into the castle itself. And I wanted to go but no one else wants to go. So Dave's like, "I'll go," of course you will. And then we went and we went all the way to the top. And I remember, we were talking, talking, talking, and then all of a sudden, you know, when like you're talking to someone, and then all of a sudden, it's like, "Oh my god, is this person gonna kiss me? Should we kiss? Is there kissing?" But then we didn't do it. And then we were like two fools like, "Huh." But we didn't do anything. And then and then... left. 

Dave Charest  40:27  
...and this and that starts our history with this castle. Because, yeah, I wanted to kiss you so bad. It was definitely like because it was after Serendipity. Like we knew we definitely like really liked each other. But we knew we also couldn't go down that road at that particular moment in time. And but yeah, definitely that was like an always I mean, we joked about it afterwards. I like it was always like, "Oh, let's go we can go back up to the castle and have that kiss," kind of thing which plays into our story a little later. So that happened...

Reese Charest  41:00  
...So then I think as we were walking out from Central Park, U2 was going to be coming out with Electrical Storm single... 

Dave Charest  41:09  
Oh, is that what was going on? Yep.

Reese Charest  41:10  
And you had ordered it and it was going to be mailed to your house. And we made plans on November 2 to have U2 Day. We were going to you were going to cook dinner...

Dave Charest  41:22  
I was gonna cook dinner... 

Reese Charest  41:23  
...we were gonna have a "friendship" hangout. 

Dave Charest  41:26  
Yep. Friendship... 

Reese Charest  41:27  
Friendship in air quotes... 

Dave Charest  41:29  
...hangout. I cooked what I made like a...

Reese Charest  41:32  
...this...You made... 

Dave Charest  41:33  
I made a massive soup.

With, you were missing half the ingredients. That was the best part of that day so so we go...so then... 

It was a kale and white bean soup with kielbasa is what it was. 

Reese Charest  41:44  
If that doesn't scream farts. I don't know what does. So, we have this whole plan to hang out. And then I take a cab because you live downtown Brooklyn. And I was afraid to drive there or take the subway. So I took a cab there. And the cab brought me to the wrong block. And then I called you...

Dave Charest  42:04  
...That's right? We had to find you.

Reese Charest  42:05  
Yeah, I called you and you were on... 

Dave Charest  42:07  
Lost in Brooklyn. 

Reese Charest  42:08  
Yep. You had the cordless phone. But then you were downstairs because the landlord's laundry was on fire. Something was on fire. And you're like, "Hold on, I got to...Something's on fire. I got to call you back." And I'm like, "Oh, my God." And I had one of those cell phones that had like, you had to pull the antenna up. That was fun. And then then I finally get there. And you're like, "I'm making this soup." And I'm like, "Okay, soup. Alright." But then, but then you were like, "I have to get carrots." So we had to walk to the supermarket and get carrots and then you know, it was fun. And then we walk back and you're like, "Oh, wait, I forgot to get the kielbasa." We had to go back and get...it was like we kept going back and forth. We went to the supermarket like, two or three times. And then the soup took five hours to cook. It wasn't like a you know...

Dave Charest  42:57  
It was a it was a long soup. 

Reese Charest  42:57  
Right. And you were like, "Hey..."

Dave Charest  43:00  
I did not manage... 

Reese Charest  43:00  
"Hey, you want this wine on your empty stomach." I'm like, "Yes! That mixes for a good time." And I got smashed. I got smashed. And then but then I remember you...we played you played some U2 and we were like dancing, there was dancing. And then we dropped...then you went and you bought the carrots and then you drop the carrots down the stairs.

Dave Charest  43:21  
I remember that? 

Reese Charest  43:22  
That was funny. And then it was it was like a really good night. And then I slept over and I got in big trouble from my parents. I think I was like 26 and I got punished.

Dave Charest  43:32  
Which was a whole other thing I didn't understand. But, yes...

Reese Charest  43:34  
I slept at a boy's house and I got in trouble. But I knew that that was...I was like, "This is it. This is good. I don't want to screw this up." And that's the first time I realized that. This was something different. 

Dave Charest  43:48  
This was gonna be a thing. 

Reese Charest  43:49  
Because I didn't want to screw it up.

Dave Charest  43:50  
Yeah, this was gonna be a thing. And that's when I had to go. I had to talk with Justin and get his blessing. And just, you know...

Reese Charest  43:58  
And he was like, "Yeah, sure. Take her."

Dave Charest  43:59  
It wasn't that. 

Reese Charest  44:01  
"And you can have this acre of farm too and one of my mules. I'll throw in Reese for free. Please, dear God take her."

Dave Charest  44:08  
Yes. So yay, me. I got that. And so then the next year, we were both involved in that musical. So we were dating at this point involved in that musical. I was playing the werewolf. Who was out of work and decided to become a barber.

Reese Charest  44:25  
Yep. That was fun.

Dave Charest  44:27  
Yeah. And you were stage managing the show.

Reese Charest  44:29  
I was stage managing and doing the costumes. So I remember, I had a glue your ears and paint your nails. 

Dave Charest  44:35  
Yep. 

Reese Charest  44:36  
I remember that the most. 

Dave Charest  44:37  
I was stylin'. I was stylin'. This was great too. George was in that show. We had other you know, great friends in that show. So it was a really good, good thing. And this is where my big thing to you was, "Hey, you know we should go to the top of the castle and have that kiss. We didn't have the chance to have." Meanwhile, we had at this point I think we had discussed I mean, this has been a year maybe we've been together. 

Reese Charest  45:01  
Yeah, we dated a little over a year. 

Dave Charest  45:02  
And this is where we were like, "Oh, yeah, we're gonna, you know, get engaged. We're probably going to get married. Like we were already on that path. And so I was having, I was lucky enough to know somebody that we both worked at the same physical therapy office for a little while. And we, I knew a jeweler, who rest his soul is not with us anymore, unfortunately. 

Reese Charest  45:22  
Made me my beautiful ring. 

Dave Charest  45:23  
Made this amazing ring for you. And so we were, you know, we had those talks, but I had already planned out with you I had said, "Yeah, he's not going to have it ready for like, another couple of months, because he's building this thing and getting the diamonds and doing all of that."

Reese Charest  45:27  
I really had no idea. I pride myself on figuring things out right away, Dave is really good at throwing me off.

Dave Charest  45:43  
So you'll see it in the video too, if this happens, so what what what I had planned was, you know, we did the show. And then the whole day, our big thing was, "Yeah, after the show, we're going to go up to the top of the castle. And I want to kiss you, because this was the first time that I wanted to kiss you. And we wanted to kiss each other. And we're going to go do this thing." And so I get you up to the top of that castle, and we're talking and blah, blah, blah, and we...did we kissed first or did we wait. I can't remember if we actually had a kiss...

Reese Charest  46:12  
I think we got up there. And we were kind of laughing about it. And then we did a quick kiss. And then you...got down on one knee...

Dave Charest  46:15  
So I got down on one knee. And I had the ring. And I propose to you... 

Reese Charest  46:23  
...with the black nail polish...

...with the black nail polish and the black eyeliner, and my Yeah, I had this whole thing on everyone...now, unbeknownst to you. Obviously you didn't know that was gonna happen.

I didn't know that was going to happen. And then...

Dave Charest  46:35  
Then we stand up, and I go, "Look down." Everybody, all our friends. My my parents were in, you know, my dad and my stepmom were there and everybody had flowers, bouquets of flowers, and you and you looked over and I'm gonna cry right now.

Reese Charest  46:50  
It was like you could hear a pindrop. Everybody was so quiet. And then when I looked over there, we're all sitting there looking up with the flowers...

Dave Charest  46:55  
Yeah, and everybody like, "Yay!" Yeah, well, what was what was that and walk us through that what was going on in your mind there.

Reese Charest  47:01  
That was like, I didn't think that that was possible was probably the most romantic thing that anybody ever did for me. I felt like that was my Disney Princess moment because I always thought that that that stuff didn't exist in that moment was and I needed that because my dad had passed away. And a big our big issue was trying to talk about you know, what's going to happen if we do get married, because I'm not gonna have anybody walking down the aisle. And as much as I was excited. We were having this conversation. It was still kind of like a sad thing. And I was like, I don't know for you know, and then you know, people talk about getting engaged, but they don't. Or it takes forever, and I just didn't expect anything. You were always really good at surprising me. That's one thing I appreciate about you is that you always are able to keep a good surprise from from me. So the fact that that happened, I was so overwhelmed. I felt loved. I felt loved. Not just by you, but by all of our friends that were there. 

Dave Charest  48:07  
Also...just, yeah. 

Reese Charest  48:07  
Yeah, it was just everything. And it just it just to come back full circle to it being at the castle and having that all happen. 

Dave Charest  48:16  
Well, with that castle, right. So the following, we did this show for years? Well, for three years, I guess. 

Reese Charest  48:21  
Yeah. Three years. And then the forth year we came back.

Dave Charest  48:24  
Yeah, so the next year, when we went back we're doing that show you were pregnant...

Reese Charest  48:29  
...I was pregnant... 

Dave Charest  48:30  
...with the girls. And then the following year after that, we did the show again. And the girls were there in their little costumes. And so just the our whole relationship with one that show and two Belvedere Castle. And so a big thank you to our friends, Joe and George and Howard who get to, like, who created this event that has just such great meaning in our life. That is beautiful. So thank you for that.

Reese Charest  48:59  
So yeah. 

Dave Charest  49:00  
So, and then here we are today. 

Reese Charest  49:01  
Right? And then, yeah...

Dave Charest  49:03  
We're about we're going on 16 years, right? Is that where we're at this year? April will be 16?

Reese Charest  49:08  
April 2004. So...

Dave Charest  49:09  
...marriage wise anyway. Yeah. 16 years. Yeah.

Reese Charest  49:11  
Yeah. So yeah. And then...then we eloped. And I didn't think we were going to elope and the irony is that we just went to California to go to the...what do you call it?

Dave Charest  49:23  
Coachella festival. 

Reese Charest  49:24  
Coachella...with Justin. And his girlfriend at the time. The irony there is that we went to that concert with them. And then we're going to take a little side trip to Vegas. And we're like, hey, if we find a place that... 

Dave Charest  49:36  
If it happens, it happens. 

Reese Charest  49:37  
Right, and then immediately...

Dave Charest  49:38  
...was our mentality to it. 

Reese Charest  49:39  
Yep. And then we just found a place that was so awkward and ridiculous and silly just like us. The woman was was a hot mess. 

Dave Charest  49:45  
And we got married by Elvis. 

Reese Charest  49:46  
Got married by Elvis. Elvis was definitely on some sort of...

Dave Charest  49:49  
...some type of painkillers...

Reese Charest  49:51  
Definitely painkillers or something and it was a riot. And, you know, we actually had a beautiful moment with the priest brought us in another room. It actually asked us, is this what we really wanted? That was a great conversation. 

Dave Charest  50:05  
So that's what's interesting if you've never eloped... 

Reese Charest  50:07  
You should really try it!

Dave Charest  50:10  
So that's what happens right before you go in with Elvis to do your thing, the novelty of that. You actually meet with an actual priest who has like, you have like this private ceremony together where he actually marries you. 

Reese Charest  50:23  
Yes. 

Dave Charest  50:24  
And what? What a beautiful moment. That we shared.

Reese Charest  50:31  
Yeah. And it was it was it was real. It was, you know, "Are you here because you really want to be here?" And then he had a great conversation with us. And then we left that to go get married by Elvis and then the priest took on a second job, which was video grapher. 

Dave and Reese  50:49  
Videographer. 

Dave Charest  50:50  
Video grapher. 

Reese Charest  50:51  
He's a video grapher. That's what they called it in Vegas. They call him a video grapher. No, he was the one filming it, which was the best part it was him and then Elvis. So if you guys get to watch the video and when Elvis's and now it's time for the reception. There were four or five people in that room. 

Dave Charest  51:09  
If that. If that many. 

Reese Charest  51:11  
Because the priest was filming it, which was hilarious.

Dave Charest  51:14  
We got these crappy, which we still have today, which is the best ring ever. I've got these like $5 rings that they had there.

Reese Charest  51:20  
Outside at the kiosk. 

Dave Charest  51:20  
They're the rings we wear today. And I love it. I don't think I would ever get anything else. So just a really yeah, watch the video, you'll get a sense of what that was like, that was really cool. It was great that we also you know, we had some people were able to call and it was being live streamed. 

Reese Charest  51:25  
It was being live streamed. 

Dave Charest  51:38  
This was before like live stream was like a big thing as so people were able to watch that.

Reese Charest  51:43  
And I remember my friend Tara Feldman was like, "I got to sit in my pajamas and watch you get married. Best.Wedding. Ever." Although a couple of my friends were a little annoyed that they weren't invited. But it wouldn't be a real elopement if...

Dave Charest  51:56  
Yeah, you know, we came back and this is where you know the video you'll be able to watch. We had parties both in New York and Massachusetts, and we played this video for people. You'll you'll get a chance to see and I think it was you know what, I can't think of any better way for us to have gone through that... Peppah is as being a...something... 

Reese Charest  52:19  
The cat is...I can hear it...

Dave Charest  52:21  
She needs some attention.

Reese Charest  52:22  
She is on the bed just... 

Dave Charest  52:24  
...doing some things... 

Reese Charest  52:24  
...crinkling stuff. 

Dave Charest  52:25  
Yeah. 

Reese Charest  52:26  
Eating plastic. That's what she's doing. I see you.

Dave Charest  52:29  
So yeah, just beautiful. So check that out. Okay, so let's let's a lot of people get into that. The question, so this is the surprise question for each of us. You want to go first?

Reese Charest  52:39  
So, I'm gonna do a...I'd like to go first and I'd like to do rapid fire questions for you. 

Dave Charest  52:44  
Oh, okay. 

Reese Charest  52:44  
So you don't have to think to answer them. I have... 

Dave Charest  52:46  
I hate these. Okay. 

Reese Charest  52:47  
I have 1-2-1-2-3-4-5, maybe six. 

Dave Charest  52:52  
Oh, my goodness. 

Reese Charest  52:53  
But five rapid fire. You can't...and it's a game that you hate that I play. Which is "Guess what I'm gonna ask you?" 

Dave Charest  52:59  
Great. Okay. Crap. 

Reese Charest  53:00  
Okay. Ready? 

Dave Charest  53:01  
Uh-huh. 

Reese Charest  53:02  
All right. Name one thing I always have with me.

Dave Charest  53:05  
...

Reese Charest  53:10  
Good, good answer. I wish that you could see what Dave's face is doing. What's something that I always have with me?

Dave Charest  53:17  
...

Reese Charest  53:18  
Dave hates this game.

Dave Charest  53:19  
I know. This is the worst game. I don't know. What? You...everything. You have all your things with you. This...horrible one. I don't know that one.

Reese Charest  53:28  
One song I always listened to all the time.

Dave Charest  53:32  
I hate these!

Reese Charest  53:33  
Ow.

Dave Charest  53:36  
Africa by Weezer. 

Reese Charest  53:37  
Good. 

Dave Charest  53:38  
Not the Toto one.

Reese Charest  53:39  
Right. But sometimes the Toto one. I won't shut it off. What am I afraid of?

Dave Charest  53:43  
Spiders.

Reese Charest  53:46  
Who's my favorite Jonas brother?

Dave Charest  53:49  
Nick.

Reese Charest  53:50  
Yay! That was good. Let's go back to one. Name one thing that I always have on me. What's always in my pocket? If you put your hands inside my jacket pocket, what's in there? 

Dave Charest  54:00  
I don't know. 

Reese Charest  54:01  
I'm disappointed you don't know.

Dave Charest  54:02  
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Reese Charest  54:04  
Carmex. 

Dave Charest  54:04  
Oh... 

Reese Charest  54:06  
I have a car, Carmex. I have a jacket, Carmex. 

Dave Charest  54:08  
Actually, so I'm gonna disagree because most of the time you're going, "Where's my Carmex?" So it's not something you have with you all the time. 

Reese Charest  54:15  
Actually, that's kinda true. 

Dave Charest  54:16  
That's why I was thrown. I was like, "I don't know what you..." Something you always use, I would have said Carmex. 

Reese Charest  54:22  
Oh, semantics. 

Dave Charest  54:23  
No. Words mean things.

Reese Charest  54:25  
I love to throw that word around. Alright, last question.

Dave Charest  54:28  
Anyway.

Reese Charest  54:30  
What am I thinking right now?

Dave Charest  54:32  
That you, I don't know, that you hate semantics.

Reese Charest  54:37  
Actually have to pee again.

Dave Charest  54:39  
That's probably, actually, that is what you're thinking, that you have to pee.

Reese Charest  54:42  
What are your... What's your question? 

Dave Charest  54:43  
All right. My one question for you is...Do you have any regrets from past relationships?

Reese Charest  54:49  
Ugh. Yeah. I do. I've I tried not to have regrets because I think they're a waste of time. I try to see them as learning experiences of things that relationships are trial and error. And you're you're wading your way through the relationship to figure out people and see if you match. But I would definitely say that there were a few there that I allowed to linger on for a little bit too long. I should have ended it way sooner. And I didn't. And so yeah, that's the one thing I I regret. I think I try not to like I said, but but just that, yeah.

Dave Charest  55:35  
It's audience questions time.

Reese Charest  55:37  
Okay.

Dave Charest  55:37  
We've got some good questions here. Thanks, again, to everybody who sent those in. We're going to start with question one from Bill, one of two from Bill. And the first question is, "What was the first thing you thought about the other that you loved?"

Reese Charest  55:52  
Do you want to go first? 

Dave Charest  55:53  
Yeah, I...so for me, just this energy from you. You know, I mentioned perfect before and like one words to like, describe our spouse. And everything about what you did was perfect in my eyes. Like in terms of like, what that was, and so I remember how beautiful, how funny you were, and how talented you were. Like, I feel like I'm a good judge of people's like, what they're like, "Oh, yeah, this is going to be somebody who's going to be good at what they do" kind of thing. And so that was, for me, one of the things that would not one, multiple things. There are so many things, but that was where I was like, "Yeah, this is...this is right." And I remember when we first started dating, going to lunch with my good friend Paul Sarkis, who was also living in New York at the time and we met up for lunch, and I was talking about you and I said, "Yeah, I met someone. Um, she's beautiful, funny, talented. All that. And she's a little bit crazy. Just like me." And...

Reese Charest  57:00  
So my answer was, "willing to be stupid in public with me." 

Dave Charest  57:03  
Yes, yes. We... 

Reese Charest  57:05  
We did that often. So just stupidity in public.

Dave Charest  57:09  
One of the things that I love about just our relationship in general, is how much we laugh. We laugh a lot, because we're both idiots.

Reese Charest  57:20  
It really is just stupid, stupid things.

Dave Charest  57:22  
But it makes...it's so good for my soul. And I hope for yours, too. I love that. 

Reese Charest  57:26  
Same.

Dave Charest  57:27  
So the second question, the follow up to this is, "What is the most annoying thing your beloved does or doesn't do?"

Reese Charest  57:38  
So, there's a few, but I won't mention them because then you'll get mad at me, which is one of the annoying things. But I will say like, sometimes I do get annoyed when I want to do something and you like, you will not do anything that you don't want to do. That is something that I've learned about you that you're not very like, at some point, like, you may have some time to think about it. And then you'll be like, "Okay, fine." And I'm always surprised by those things. When that happens. Like when we went to Disney, you were kind of cool about it. I didn't think you were going to be no offense. But like, I want to go see, I would like you to go see Frozen II with us again. And then you're just like, I don't want to do that thing. And I'm like, come on, do that thing. You're like, "No!" So when I hear that, no, I'm like, fine. But then sometimes you soften up and then you'll be like, okay, but... 

Dave Charest  58:28  
I have a podcast to edit, Maurisa.

Reese Charest  58:30  
But...exactly. Whatever. I was trying not to make too many mistakes. You wouldn't have to edit that much. But that's out the window. But no, like, yeah, you just sometimes you don't want to do things that you don't want to do. And then sometimes I can't sway you on it and so that sometimes that's annoying. And that's one is a nice one. I want to say the other ones because I think I've written about them on Facebook and you're like, take that down.

Dave Charest  58:54  
Excellent. Yeah. Uh, for me the most annoying thing is...

Reese Charest  59:01  
Can I guess what it is before you go ahead? 

Dave Charest  59:03  
Sure, go ahead.

Reese Charest  59:04  
I don't put the caps on top of things.

Dave Charest  59:05  
Oh, that's one. Yeah, I didn't think of that so...Okay, so let's talk about that for a minute. It wasn't where I was gonna go but that is a good one.

Reese Charest  59:13  
I thought that definitely was going to be it. 

Dave Charest  59:15  
For some unforetold reason that we can't seem to decipher Maurisa, I used your full name... 

Reese Charest  59:22  
...Oh, wow... 

Dave Charest  59:23  
...that's how serious this is...

Reese Charest  59:26  
...I got full named...

Dave Charest  59:27  
...can't physically tighten caps on things. 

Reese Charest  59:31  
Not ever. 

Dave Charest  59:31  
And so of course, they're typically those things that are necessary to shake...

Reese Charest  59:36  
...right... 

Dave Charest  59:36  
...before you open them.

Reese Charest  59:37  
Yes. 

Dave Charest  59:38  
Unbeknownst to me, which I've learned sometimes to always make sure the cap is actually on before I shake something now, but yes, anything it doesn't matter what it is. I'll go over and, "Cap's not on. Cap's not on." 

Reese Charest  59:55  
Yep.

Dave Charest  59:55  
Like not tight. 

Reese Charest  59:56  
That happened the other day too. 

Dave Charest  59:57  
"Yep, cap's not on. Oh look, cap's not on." So that's one of those things. And I was gonna say that the the crunching in bed is is funny too, but like at this point, like, they're actually like, yeah, there are things and they they're annoying, but there are also funny at this point because they're the things that annoy us like you know what I mean?

Reese Charest  1:00:19  
Dave calls me Captain Crunch. 

Dave Charest  1:00:21  
Captain Crunch. 

Reese Charest  1:00:22  
And if, there was one night where he was snoring sleeping, I was gonna say snoring, whatever. But you were snoring sleep, Dave can turn around and just go straight to sleep. I don't know how anybody does that in their right mind. But he does. I turned around...snored. So I get out of bed. I go into the kitchen, and I get my pretzels and I bring them back in the room. I was like, "He's sleeping, he'll never hear." And I was sucking on the pretzels. So they would be soft. And I was like, silently crunching I was like so proud of myself...

Dave Charest  1:00:49  
Or so she thought.

Reese Charest  1:00:50  
Yeah, I was so proud of myself. Like, "I did it. I did it." Because normally he'll hear me and he'll be like, "Sigh." He'll sigh and do a thing and get all, get his panties in a bunch. And I'm like, bart, and so then the next morning, I was all full of myself. "You didn't hear me chewing on the pretzels last night, right?" 

Dave Charest  1:01:07  
I'm like, "Yeah, that's what you think." All night. (Makes sucking noises.) Like I was at one point I was gonna turn around and go, "Just crunch it already. The sucking on the pretzel is not any better."

Reese Charest  1:01:20  
It wasn't Eddie Vedder? Sorry. 

Dave Charest  1:01:21  
It wasn't Eddie Vedder, yeah. 

Reese Charest  1:01:22  
Anyway? Yeah. So I go I know I get... 

Dave Charest  1:01:24  
But that's one of the jokes you'll, anytime anybody wants to say "any better." We have to say, "Eddie Veddder." So there you go. You're in on that little secret. 

Reese Charest  1:01:30  
Eddie Vedder.

Dave Charest  1:01:31  
Okay, question number two or three at this point comes from Miranda. "Was there a defining..."

Reese Charest  1:01:37  
My bestie. 

Dave Charest  1:01:37  
 Yeah. "Was there a defining moment when you knew you were in love with each other?"

Reese Charest  1:01:43  
And I would say it was definitely that night that we had U2 day.

Dave Charest  1:01:45  
Yeah, I was gonna say that Serendipity slash U2 Day is what I have written down for sure. Yeah, that was was like, "Okay, we have to we have to make this a thing." A question from Tanya, "Do you secretly wish a past relationship would have worked out?"

Reese Charest  1:01:58  
Right. And I said, Absolutely not. Because then I wouldn't be here. And I like where I am. 

Dave Charest  1:02:04  
Yeah, I'm...I love where I am, too. But I will say that. When I first moved to New York, I had a, I guess a "secret relationship." I'm using air quotes, because I was kind of seeing one still back seeing someone back at home still. And this person was seeing someone but we had like this just mad, crazy love affair, if you want to call it that, that. It was that and then we weren't together. And then we were both not with anybody. And then we just like never got together again. And so like, I don't wish that worked out. But it was one of those things that I'm just like, "Why didn't that ever become a thing where we could have had it become a thing?" And maybe part of the fact that it couldn't be a thing was why the thing was so cool to begin with I guess, you know? 

Reese Charest  1:02:46  
Right. That's what those sometimes those relationships just are meant to be that. 

Dave Charest  1:02:50  
Yeah, yeah. 

Reese Charest  1:02:51  
Then if it becomes something else, it is ruined. 

Dave Charest  1:02:54  
Yeah.

Reese Charest  1:02:55  
I kind of like those things like... 

Dave Charest  1:02:56  
Yeah, no, they have moments. 

Reese Charest  1:02:57  
I wouldn't even say...there wasn't a relationship that I wish it was. It was I was still having it. But there's one relationship that I had that in high school that was madly in love with this guy Frank whose father owned a, like one of those halls and... 

Dave Charest  1:02:59  
Like a function hall? 

Reese Charest  1:03:13  
Like a function hall.

Dave Charest  1:03:14  
I was like, "The cough drop?" 

Reese Charest  1:03:17  
On Bath Avenue in Brooklyn, and we used to do all of our, like high school parties in there and, and I and I was like, in love with him. And supposedly he loved me. And he was also a big U2 fan. He used to drive around like, like stalking them following them. And I'm like, I can't believe I found someone who loves U2 like I do. Weird. But then his...so his father was connected with the mafia. I don't know if I could talk about, you know, mafia. I'm gonna...

Dave Charest  1:03:41  
Hopefully, no one from the mafia is listening to this.

Reese Charest  1:03:43  
Well, you never know. And so I don't know if anybody in the FBI is listening.

Dave Charest  1:03:48  
That's also...

Reese Charest  1:03:48  
Probably have to worry about that more. Because you know, they're listening in on my calls. So anyway, edit this part out. So anyway, yeah, but I always wonder what happened to him because he broke up our our relationship because his father didn't want us to be together anymore. Because I think... 

Dave Charest  1:04:02  
You were not of good pedigree?

Reese Charest  1:04:03  
No because, I was, I was Italian. I was perfect. No, that. I think like they were having some issues with the mafia and he didn't want his son involved with anything...

Dave Charest  1:04:15  
Extraneous. 

Reese Charest  1:04:15  
Extraneous. Right. And so then I never. And then they just dipped out. They the whole family just went away. I don't even know what happened to him. So I wouldn't want to be in that relationship, per se, but I would like to have known what the heck happened to him, but I wouldn't. Yeah, I'm happy where I am now. 

Dave Charest  1:04:30  
Gotcha. I'm with you. Question four comes from Joanne. And I think this is a question specific to you. But, "Everyone knows Dave is a fabulous cook..." 

Reese Charest  1:04:39  
He really is. 

Dave Charest  1:04:40  
Thank you very much, Joanne. "What's the most romantic dinner he has made?"

Reese Charest  1:04:46  
Well, I'd have to say the one, the... 

Dave Charest  1:04:48  
The U2 Day one? 

Reese Charest  1:04:49  
..the fart soup.

Dave Charest  1:04:50  
The fart soup

Reese Charest  1:04:50  
On U2 Day. Because that was really that was the first time that anyone actually cooked something from... 

Dave and Reese  1:04:57  
...scratch... 

Reese Charest  1:04:57  
...for me and really thought about what they were going to make and what they were going to do. And it was so thought out and planned out. I've really never had that happen before. So I would say that one, but there's been so many other ones after that. That I really should be 500 pounds. Honestly. 

Dave Charest  1:05:16  
Okay, we have some questions here. We have a five part series of questions from, from Jake.

Reese Charest  1:05:22  
Yep. Our investigative reporter. 

Dave Charest  1:05:23  
Yes. So Jake on the street asks, "When did you realize you were in love? And when did you realize you wanted to be with him/her forever? And did those timelines matchup?" Sounds like a three part question rolled into one.

Reese Charest  1:05:37  
I think we should just go straight to...because we kind of answered the ones a little bit.

Dave Charest  1:05:41  
Yeah, just yeah.

Reese Charest  1:05:42  
I think. So. I think we should just go do our timelines match up to that and I would say yes.

Dave Charest  1:05:48  
Yeah. I mean, definitely everything was, honestly, it was one of those things where, you know, again, I know perfection doesn't exist. But everything happened the way it needed to happen for us to be where we needed to be. 

Reese Charest  1:06:01  
Right. And there were, there were times where things were a little dicey with us, like back in the day, 

Dave Charest  1:06:05  
Of course. 

Reese Charest  1:06:05  
And we were still kind of figuring out our marriage and stuff like that. But I think we always came around, and we were fine. So yeah, I think it'll it'll matched up.

Dave Charest  1:06:15  
Another question from Jake is, "With the divorce rate at 50%..." 

Reese Charest  1:06:18  
He did his research.

Dave Charest  1:06:19  
He did. We'll have to fact check that. "What is your opinion on..."

Reese Charest  1:06:24  
Especially because it came from Jake. Just kidding. 

Dave Charest  1:06:25  
"...why that is so high?"

Reese Charest  1:06:31  
Yeah, I don't know. Honestly, I wrote down three things, because I think all his questions come after that one. Except for C. Question. C is pretty funny. But for A and B, because he...

Dave Charest  1:06:45  
Yeah, that kind of...let me read A and B. Because it kind of...So in Jake's opinion, it's mostly a combo of women being more empowered and independently, independent financially, which is good in parentheses. And our current society bred to give up too soon, which is bad.

Reese Charest  1:07:01  
Right. So I think with both of those things, I think it's one expectations going into a relationship, because I think you and I knew what our expectations were, like going in. And we talked about it a lot. And that goes back to communication. There's a lot of lack of communication with couples going into the relationship, going into a marriage where they have all these expectations, and then they don't discuss them beforehand. And honestly, I think there's, I mean, I could be wrong. But the way that I feel about stuff today is that people see the word sacrifice, as a bad thing.

Dave Charest  1:07:38  
Right. Compromise is a better... 

Reese Charest  1:07:40  
Compromise is better. But I think there's some sacrifice in there too, because there's some things that I would have liked to have had going on in my life, but I have to kind of put them on the back burner, especially with children to. A lot of people, I just saw an article where someone just worried about having kids is the worst thing you can do. Well, that's your opinion. I don't know why you weren't an article about it. Honestly, yes, children are a lot of work. Marriage is a lot of work. Getting up every day to go to work is a lot of work. But you do these things because you have to stay moving. If you don't do that. That's why people get sad and lethargic and give up on things. You know, and I think a lot of things could be avoided in relationships, if people just communicate, we said this in the first podcast too. Communication was a big thing for us.

Dave Charest  1:08:27  
I would say to the other piece of it, is that again, I think there are definitely reasons to get divorced. You know, my parents, for example, thank God, they got divorced. Like, I can't imagine what that would have been like, and it was a good thing to happen. Right.

Reese Charest  1:08:46  
But had they had different expectations going into that marriage? It would have been different. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten married at all, had they really discussed...

Dave Charest  1:08:55  
Well, sure. 

Reese Charest  1:08:56  
Why they were getting married. 

Dave Charest  1:08:56  
But I think I think part of it, too, is sometimes I think maybe people I get I don't know, because I don't think we approach it like this. But I think sometimes people why it's so high is that I can see situations where people might go in saying like, well, if it doesn't work out, we can just get divorced. And so that's already like an option that's on the table. 

Reese Charest  1:09:16  
True. 

Dave Charest  1:09:16  
And I think you know, one of the things that I mean, I've always said to you, no matter how much we fought or whatever the situation is that no matter how mad I am, or what it is like never in my mind has divorce been one of the answers to how we solve that problem. 

Reese Charest  1:09:34  
Right. 

Dave Charest  1:09:34  
So, you know, and so like, for me, it's it's off the table, or last resort, you know, which I think I mean, it probably is for other people too, but I think there are probably some other...

Reese Charest  1:09:44  
Well, I think also people look you know, get married and then the person that they married, they change they become these different people, and they weren't who they were when you first got married 

Dave Charest  1:09:55  
And that's a whole thing too, I mean, that's just the whole...like I don't understand how people, like aren't, like, I think we've always been ourselves around each other, which I think, like, we're not surprised...

Reese Charest  1:10:06  
Right. 

Dave Charest  1:10:07  
...by anything that's happened in our...

Reese Charest  1:10:08  
Not anymore, no.

Dave Charest  1:10:08  
You know? Like, yeah, but meaning in like what we expect from each other you know? So yeah, I don't know. I look. 

Reese Charest  1:10:17  
It's hard to... 

Dave Charest  1:10:18  
It's, It's... 

Reese Charest  1:10:18  
Right. I don't know, I think...

Dave Charest  1:10:21  
We wish everyone great relationships and the opportunity to have that. And it's too bad that it is so high.

Reese Charest  1:10:26  
Yeah, that's unfortunate. And I think, you know, some of them probably could have been saved, and then probably a good portion of them, they should not be together. For whatever the obvious reasons are, because you shouldn't be around anything toxic. That doesn't make you feel good or happy. 

Dave Charest  1:10:41  
For sure. Jake's last question, and I'm already getting the wheels turning on this one.

Reese Charest  1:10:45  
Me too. 

Dave Charest  1:10:45  
"When will I be a guest on the podcast?"

Reese Charest  1:10:48  
I'm like, "Summer, 2020."

Dave Charest  1:10:50  
So, for sure. But I think there could be something here once we get through the next episode, when we start thinking about what we're going to do beyond that we might have to work do something with this "Jake, Man on the Street" thing, he could send us in some audio from the streets of New York. That could be interesting.

Reese Charest  1:11:07  
That would be...

Dave Charest  1:11:08  
I don't know, Jake, we're gonna have to talk you might have just worked yourself into the show.

Reese Charest  1:11:10  
That would be fantastic actually. 

Dave Charest  1:11:13  
That's our show, folks. That's Episode Two. Thank you so much for spending some time with us. We love you. Please make sure if you're not already on the email list, we mentioned those gifts that we send out to our email subscribers get on the list, you'll find some information about getting situated with that, please do that. Make sure you're subscribing to the podcast itself on whatever platform that you're using. to listen to those podcasts. And if you happen to be on you listening to those one on iTunes, which 80% of the people are listening to on iTunes I can see that information so thank you. Please leave a review. The reviews are very helpful to getting us found, getting us higher up in the rankings on the podcast store to get this out to new people. If you're one of those people who does not like to leave reviews, completely get it, do us a favor and share the podcast with someone you think might like it. We'd apprciate if you did that, so thank you so much. Reese...

Reese Charest  1:12:08  
I have to go to the bathroom.

Dave Charest  1:12:11  
So this is how we end up every episode. 

Reese Charest  1:12:13  
Exactly. 

Dave Charest  1:12:14  
It's a mad dash for the bathroom

Reese Charest  1:12:15  
So I'm gonna let Dave do the outro but I'm just gonna tell you guys this has been awesome. 

Dave Charest  1:12:20  
Yeah, thank you guys.

Reese Charest  1:12:20  
The questions are great. Please keep them coming. And I'm gonna go pee. Bye, love you. 

Dave Charest  1:12:25  
Peace out. So again friends, remember life is a group project be kind to each other. And we'll leave you today with the love song that I wrote for the beautiful Reese... 

Reese Charest  1:12:34  
As I go pee.

Dave Charest  1:12:35  
 As she goes pee. This is Music Box...

(Song plays.) Is this what I've become?/ All that I've been hiding from/ Wanted to find my way/ Across the sun into your day/ Broken heart I hold for you/ Stolen dreams awaken true/ Night she hangs from the rung of the heights I've fallen from/ And the music sets us apart as you dance around my heart/ My heart